Finally after a week we have contact again. Today I had the oppurtunity to spend a few minutes chatting on IM with Scout. It was so good to see his name pop up on line.
I am sure that some people will never understand just how important it is to see that little yellow dot light up next to a name on IM but, to a loved one of a deployed Soldier that dot can make or break your day. For that moment in time it tells you that all is well in your world because if the dot is lit up then the Soldier is safe and sound.
Scout is doing fine, although he is a bit tired. I will never understand all that he goes thru each day and I am sure that there is alot that he will not or is not allowed to tell me about but, he does his best to keep his spirits up for mom and I do the same for him.
I know that we have been lucky so far that we hear from him on a regular basis and that there are many out there that do not have the same oppurtunity, how they manage to get through it I will never know. This last week without contact has been some of the hardest days of my life. I guess I kinda drifted thru in a fog always feeling as if I was on hold waiting for that chime from my phone saying that he had logged on and the fact that I have refrained from snapping someones neck off of their head because they feel the need to tell me that they understand that I am worried but that this is his job and I have to get use to it says alot about my own personal growth during this adventure.
I am a born and bred Southern women and although I will be the first to admit that sarcasm is a service that I am readily able to offer, rudeness is something that I try my best to avoid. I would rather walk on hot coals than hurt someones feelings and many times have bitten my tongue until the taste of blood to keep from saying something that even if deserved I will feel bad about however, there comes a time in a persons life when they just want to say, NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Yes I know this is his job and it is a job that he chose and that he loves and that he intends to continue with and I will continue to support him in 100%. But until you watch your child head off for a land that hates him strictly because of what he stands for, a land where they spend every waking moment thinking of ways to kill your child and others like him, do not for one minute think that you understand. And while we are on the subject, do not tell me that we are on the same page because your child has left for college. I am sure this is a hard time in your life but ummm, no it is not the same your page is in a novel, mine could very well be a horror story.
And now my rant is over.....
Scout is fine, mom is fine and tomorrow (or today as the case may be) is another day. I will begin my morning routine with a prayer for all of the brave men and women sacrificing their lives for ours and smile as I pin on my Blue Star Mothers pin. I will grumble out loud when I have to take the baby brother to school 45 minutes early for detention but smile on the inside because he reminds me so much of our Scout at 11 yrs old. I will laugh out loud at the middle brother because he is the exact opposite of his big bro and the funniest kid you will ever have the pleasure of knowing, who comes up with random comedy just to make sure that mom is laughing each morning even though he knows there is a sad spot in her heart right now. The same child that comes up and gives hugs just because Scout had to sign out of IM to go on patrol or to finally try to get some sleep. I will get thru my workday with several stolen moments on facebook for updated post from my friends in the same situation as mine, celebrating with them as they receive phone calls, emails or updates from their Heroes and crying with them when they do not and always waiting for that small chime that says there he is and he is fine.
I am blessed to have had three wonderful young men placed in my care by a God that loves me unconditionally, blessed to live in a Country that has Heroes ready to stand up for its rights and freedoms, and blessed that one of those Heroes is mine.
Have a wonderful & blessed day and know in your heart that if one of those Heroes belongs to you, they are always in my thoughts and prayers and Thank you will never be enough to repay their sacrifices and yours.
I love you Scout.